I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining types of the teachings of a course in miracles acim, and fo initially in a lengthy while, I don’t feel alone.
Section of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I would be doing this for the wrong reason; as an easy way to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to share wasn’t yet clear during those times; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have allow you to see inside. Don’t are interested troubling your brain, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I could not think of whatever I’d said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I’d in coming to the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere with its residents’satisfaction, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief will be (has been?) released.
There are other things that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.
